The wind’s blowing – thoughts. The wind’s blowing – physical sensations. The wind’s blowing – emotions. The wind’s blowing – beliefs. The wind’s blowing – ideas. The wind’s blowing – identity. The wind’s blowing – daydreams of the past and future. There is flux and change everywhere and on the most subtle level I am grasping, searching for permanence – an assurance that if I move my pieces wisely I can make things just right in this unsolvable puzzle. In a world where nothing is the same for even a nano-micro-second – I am screaming for some sort of reliance and security. I am a leaf being blown in an unending windstorm telling himself that through his will and efforts he can calm the insane weather. Continue reading
I will allow myself to be human. I have no demand greater than that for myself. If I feel pain, I feel pain – no more, no less. If I feel joy, I feel joy – no more, no less. I do not resist, I do not fight, I do not struggle to make things right. Why is it not enough to experience my life just as it is (with a hint of curiosity in the background whispering, “Ah, so this is what is happening right now? This ‘incarnation as a human thing’ sure is fascinating.”)?
I do not need a destination. I am sick of my desire to arrive. Where am I arriving to? There is no place for me to go. For every time in my life I have arrived, multiple new paths have emerged immediately. If my feet are tired, I will rest. If my heart is singing with curiosity, I will walk to where the music leads me. Am I to keep track of my successes and failures as if I am a character in a video game? Hogwash! I am so much more than that – I am a human! There is love and pain and laughs and tears and confusion and wonder and everything else in between. I have no desire for you or anyone else other than to be what you already are – right here, right now. For don’t you see, you are already an incarnation of God and no matter how many points you gather it won’t make you a speck more divine. You follow your muse and I shall try to capture the winds that call my name – and if we intercept somewhere in the middle, share a few drinks, talk about what we’ve learned, laugh, and tell a few scary stories – that is beautiful. Continue reading
“Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. Society is a joint-stock company, in which the members agree, for the better securing of his bread to each shareholder, to surrender the liberty and culture of the eater. The virtue in most request is conformity.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance
There is a certain neurosis that comes with being a well-adjusted human in civilized modern society – a pressure to conform, a pressure to fit in, a pressure to keep the boat of social order from rocking. Society protects, offers luxuries, provides order, and gives comfort in an existence that is frightfully uncertain in its very nature (though we do like to go along pretending that this existence submits to our will and is subject to our demands). But in exchange for the respite, society irons you out, hammers you down, saps you of your individuality, steals your self-conviction, and robs you of your self-trust. Society is a powerful force – and from a young age we are taught that we are not. As a result, we become dependent infants suckling on the tit of authoritarian control. We give society our power because it offers us a faux-shield against unknown fears. It tells us that we do not need to be strong, because it will be strong for us. Continue reading
I pay close attention to my heart and it pours out my inner-life to be experienced and examined. My life, my emotions – everything I didn’t know how to make sense of stored away, now being looked upon with curious wonder. I do this from time to time. Though it is scary, it is also immensely healing to look inside the sacred inner box of the questions of your life. You get to a stage where you wonder but you don’t really expect any answer – but just asking the questions helps you feel whole. There are many questions that come with being a human, and I know I’ll die not knowing many things. But sometimes I write not because I have a point – but because there is no other remedy for the words flowing through me. Continue reading
What is inner-freedom but being released from oneself? – to have an absence of ego, an absence of identity, an absence of an “I”. Below our egoic structure, we are nothing but an expression of pure energy. The identification we have with ourselves is a survival mechanism which clings to immortality. The one who can’t admit, the one who can’t accept, the one who needs things to go just a certain way…the one who can become a master puppeteer that has you dancing with the tugs of his individual fingers. Continue reading